Father, I feel so far from You. I once sensed Your presence and felt Your pleasure in my daily life and as You used me to preach Your Word powerfully. Now my heart seems so callous, hard, and unfeeling when it comes to You. I am so unworthy of You. I am so sorry for failing to live for You and love You. I feel like I have failed or am failing at everything that You have called me to as a worshiper, as a husband, as a father, as a son, as a brother, as a friend, as a preacher of the gospel, and as a witness for Jesus in this world.
Like the prophet Elijah, in my mind I often think that You should take my life so that I will no longer waste the breath, time, talents, and treasures that You have entrusted to me. I want to quit at life because I feel that I fail so much. I am so tired of disappointing You and breaking Your heart. There are times when I can be in the midst of exuberant worship and powerful preaching and my heart seem distant from You. God, what is wrong with me? I am asking You to change me, or I am going to fall away from You and ruin this wonderful life that You have given to me.
God, Your gifts to me are good so why do I feel so weighed down and burdened? You have given me life and freedom then why do I feel lifeless and bound? Could it be that I am self-deceived as I have heard Your Word in abundance and yet done it so infrequently? I so often fail to yield to the Holy Spirit and far more than I should give in to the desires and lusts of my flesh. At times I can be so critical, hypocritical, judgmental, envious, jealous, glutenous, apathetic, indifferent, and lazy. I fear and want to please others more than I do You. I deserve to be sat down on the bench and passed over when it comes to opportunities to serve You. Yet for some reason You still use me and pour out Your favor on my life.
God, it has been a long time since I have sensed that You were giving me specific direction and guidance. I do not really have any vision for my life, family, or ministry. I seem to daily just be going through the motions. I do not feel like I fit in anywhere. I am just drifting. I feel like the Lone Ranger without Tonto. Even when people talk like they want me to be a part of things it seems like their actions say the opposite. At times, I am jealous of the way that You use others and mad at the way that You have chosen to use me.
God, I have the audacity to act like You owe me something when all that I deserve from You is eternal damnation and wrath for my sin. Thank You for sending Jesus to forgive my sins and grant me the gift of eternal life. You are worthy of my life and the sacrifice of praise from my lips daily. Do not allow me to believe the lies of the enemy of my soul. Could it be that my soul is so downcast within me because the enemy is attacking me so hard to make me think that You do not care and cannot help me? Demolish the strongholds of the enemy in my life and use me as an instrument in Your hands to demolish his strongholds in the lives of others.
Father, help me to know You better and give me wisdom and spiritual discernment regarding Your will. I confess my need for You and avail myself to You even if nothing changes or things get worse (in my circumstances or even how I perceive them). You never told me that the road would be easy. Jesus, You told us that it was a narrow gate that opens to a hard road that leads to life. Help me Lord, by Your incomparably great power, to love You, to live for You, and give You glory all the days of my life. In Jesus' name, Amen!!!