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An Honest Confession to God (Prayer Journal - Excerpt 6)

O Father, in Jesus name, You alone are worthy of all the praise, honor, and glory from my life. Thank You for extending Your holy scepter and inviting me before the throne of grace. O God I ask that You would overwhelm me with Your presence that I may experience Your joy, peace, and rest. God do not let me take for granted what You have made available to me - intimate fellowship with You.

God, I am so tired of the phoniness in my life. I am learning that I can feign passion for You when I am around people outside of my home. Yet, in the quietness of my thoughts and around those who really know me I am apathetic, distant, indifferent, and passive. God, there is no real urgency in my heart to seek You, to do Your will, to love and serve those in the family of God, to hold out the hope the gospel of Christ to the broken, hopeless, and hurting, and to shine Your light in the darkness of the world.

God, I am distracted by so many things that are infinitely inferior to You - the One and only true and living God. Forgive me for treating You with familiarity and often with contempt. Forgive me for treating You as common when You are the Holy One of Israel, the Maker of the heavens and the earth. Forgive me for wanting the glory and praise which rightfully belongs to You only. God, You gave Your Son Jesus as the substitutionary sacrifice for my sins, and yet I so often offer You sacrifices that cost me nothing - leftovers of time, talents, and treasure after I've done what I've wanted to do. Most of my days are spent wanting You to make my life comfortable rather than me coming after You, Jesus, denying myself, taking up my cross, and following You wherever You lead me. Bring me back to the heart of worship where it is all about You Jesus.

There is great inequity and injustice in our world and to be honest, I can't say that my heart is all that broken. It is so easy for me to talk about the church being lukewarm and asleep. Yet I so quickly forget it is not just my brothers and sisters but me standing in the need of prayer. God, I confess that I am often critical, condemning, judgemental, and self-righteous. I often come away thinking that I am better than others and don't really need You all that much. Please forgive me for these gross sins that I cling to that are so not like You, Jesus.

God, I desperately need You! Unless You intervene then I am stuck right where I am with no hope of changing or being different. For it is not by my might or power but by Your Spirit, O God. I am so grateful for Your grace and the good work that You've begun in me that You will complete on the day of Christ Jesus. Help me to humble myself before Your Majestic Presence and produce a godly sorrow in my soul that leads me to truly repent of my sin. Revive my soul and may my life be marked by Your Presence.

I am not my own. I belong to You as You purchased me at a high price with the precious blood of Christ. By Your Spirit, help me to throw off all restraint and live for You only without hesitation, reservation, and compromise. May my greatest desire be to know and please You as I live a holy and blameless life in this world. Jesus, wear my body as Your suit of clothes as You live Your resurrected life through me. Break me like a bottle of perfume so that the sweet-smelling aroma of Christ freely flows from my life. May the presence and words of Jesus overflow out of my life to every person that I am around and You send me to.

God, make me a man of courage - who is bold and fearless. Grant me an undivided heart and teach me the fear of the Lord. Continue to grow me in greater confidence and dependence upon You as You are with me and for me. Grow my heart for You and fill my heart with Your love for others so that I will serve my family, my brothers and sisters in the body of Christ, and be willing to expend my life so that one lost soul can be rescued and brought into Your eternal Kingdom. God teach me to number my days and to live wisely in these dark and evil days. Be glorified in my life. In Jesus' name. Amen!

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