God, Thanks For Loving Me In Spite of Me! (Prayer Journal 75)
Holy Father, in Jesus' name, I need You to meet me in this place and minister to the depths of my soul. In this season, I find myself often feeling bloated physically, lethargic spiritually, discombobulated mentally, and on a roller coaster emotionally. I feel displaced, off track, out of sync, wandering aimlessly with no sense of direction, distracted, ineffective, unmotivated, lackadaisical, and going through the motions. More than I should I am giving into the desires of my flesh, letting fear rule me, not experiencing Your peace, and finding it hard to be still and know that You are God.
God, at times I let go and take a break on running the race that is set before me. I am so glad that You never let go of me and the good work that You've begun in me You will fulfill on the day when Christ Jesus returns. In the midst of the raging storms place me in the eye of the storm and allow me to experience You peace that passes all understanding. Grant me the grace to cast all of my cares on You for You care for me. Help me to not be distracted but to keep my mind stayed on You as You keep me in perfect peace. Help me to trust You with all my heart, to lean not to my own understanding, in all of my ways to acknowledge You as You direct my paths and make them straight.
God, help me to have a thankful heart and to enjoy this life that You've given me. I confess, at times, that even good gifts of Your grace, such as marriage, family, and ministry, seem like burdens rather than joys. To be honest, I do not see much in my life that honors and glorifies Your great name. I feel like such a failure when it comes to yielding to Your Holy Spirit. Sadly, my attitude and mindset is often focused on how others can benefit me rather than blessing and serving others. I am overwhelmed not knowing what to do and not doing much of anything.
God, it is so sad that I often know what You require of me and yet do not do it. Why are You so patient to keep me alive when I use Your resources for my selfish ambition. Why are you so merciful to me? What do You see in me that causes You to call me the apple of Your eye? Why do You rejoice, exult, and sing over me when my praise is often halfhearted and insincere? Who am I that You are mindful of me and care for me? Why have You gifted and graced me with so much when I so often fail to use it to glorify Your name, serve Your purposes, and share the gospel of Jesus Christ?
Why do I often live in fear when You've given me the Spirit of power, love, and a sound mind? Why do I care more about what people think of me than what You say and think? I have disobeyed You by listening to what others say or because of what I perceive they will think. I am so sick of my apathetic and lukewarm attitude towards You, the One who is always deserving and worthy of my love and worship. I do not deserve to know You and to be used by You. If knowing and living for You were a sporting event then I should not be allowed on the bench or even to have a seat in the stands. And yet You have given me a seat at Your banqueting table of love.
God, I am asking You to humble me before Your Majestic Presence. Bring me to the place of total surrender and authentic worship of You, the One and only true and living God. Do whatever You must to get my attention, to awaken me from my slumber, and the putting off of You by continually hitting the snooze button. There are too many things in my life that mean more to me than You and that should not be. Break my heart over my idolatry and spiritual adultery committed against You. The sad thing is that I break Your heart on a daily basis and most of the time I am not aware of it, think about it, or even care. Cause my heart to grieve every time that I grieve Your Holy Spirit because of my sin and lead me to truly repent.
God, I know that I am not a perfect man. Every day I am reminded of my failures and flaws. You have given me Your Holy Spirit. Help me more and more to yield to Him rather than giving in to the desires of my sinful flesh. God, I am so thankful that You chose me in Christ before the foundation of the world and love me with an everlasting love that absolutely nothing shall ever separate me from. In Jesus' name, Amen!!!