God, Your Love Blows Me Away! (Prayer Journal 25)
Holy Father, in Jesus name, thank You for making it possible for me to sit in Your presence and to give You praise. I so want to live for You, and You only, yet it seems that every time that I look up I am away from Your safe harbor as I am drifting on the current of the world. O God, daily am I reminded that I need You. I so often want to cry for the way that my heart and flesh long for things that distract and pull me away from You. God, take me from the place where it is more than me just wanting You to use me to the place where I just long for the earth to be covered by Your glory. The world does not need me nor the Church, I and the Church need Jesus who saved us and established us to reveal Him, through the gospel, to the world.
God, I ask that You rid me of my arrogance, pride, self-sufficiency, and half-hearted lukewarm love for You. God humble me before You where I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that You are God and besides You there is no other. Bring me to the place of humbly prostrating myself before Your holy and majestic glory. Do a work in my heart and soul where the things of this world mean absolutely nothing to me and You mean everything. Help me Jesus to come after You, deny myself, take up my cross daily and follow You. To lose my life so that I can truly find it. I am so tired of it being about me when the ultimate reality for all eternity is You, Jesus.
God, show me my sin and break my heart over it. Produce a godly sorrow in my soul that leads to genuine repentance. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit and help me to live by the Spirit as I put the flesh to death. I am so done with being concerned about me and what I want when I am an ambassador for Christ called to live for You and what You want. Forgive me for looking to and longing for things other than You. God, I do not know what to say and do not understand why You've even made it possible for me to come into Your holy presence.
Why do You continue to daily give me breath, food, water, health in my body, a sound mind, a family to live with, a home to live in, clothes to wear, money to use, a car to drive, and on top of all of that an intimate relationship with Yourself? Most of the time I am ungrateful, unthankful, and unappreciative of these gifts that You give (my list is only scratching the surface). I often fall short as a husband, father, brother, friend, minister, and steward of opportunities, resources, and time that You've entrusted to me. On top of that I often take You for granted and daily spurn Your great and incredible love for me. I can not begin to fathom why You did not give me Your wrath for my sin, wickedness, and rebellion against You, the Holy One. Yet I am blown away by the way that You love me. For You demonstrated Your love towards us (me) in this that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. And now that I know Your love in Christ there is absolutely nothing that shall ever separate me from You.
Bring me to the place where I love You above all else and love what You love and hate what You hate. God, would You break my heart with what breaks Yours? At times, I can feel like such a failure in loving You and living for You. The truth is that apart from You I can not so I am asking You to bring me to a place of complete surrender to You. God, I am so wanting to be out of this fallen world and this body of sin because I keep falling short and not walking worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ. By the power of Your Spirit help me to live this life You've given me before You and for You, my audience of One. Help me to stop trying to live for You and to trust You to do to, in, and through me what I am incapable of doing as I rest in Your love and You use my life to glorify Your name. In Jesus' name, Amen!!!